Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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