Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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