Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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