Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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