she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
