She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
