So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I think i got beer on your cat.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
