My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Randomize
