He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
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