she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
