He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize