There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I wish you could order shots online.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
