She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
last night I used snow as a chaser
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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