On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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