Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
