All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
last night I used snow as a chaser
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
