You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
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