We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
