Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize