I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Randomize
