I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
