Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
