handjob tips. give me some.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
