her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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