His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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