No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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