I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
