hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
