i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
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