Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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