Pants 0. Shit 1.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
be right there i have to get my cape
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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