grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
is wine microwaveable?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
She bit a glass in half.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
