what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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