billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
You are a genius and a whore.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
