i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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