road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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