I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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