If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
she looked like the before picture.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
