My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
