your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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