Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
