Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize