I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
You've changed since you got that strap on
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
