I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
