Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
