I wish I only lived at night.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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