I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
