I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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