I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
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