It's Friday. Sex?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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