Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
