omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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