Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
