he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
