her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
