So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
