Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
